Once I was ready, ceremonies with a variety of psychedelics or entheogens helped me emerge from the darkest period in my life. I continue to integrate the experiences and have adopted more positive ways to cope with my losses - although I still have periods of sadness. I have and will continue to experience the ‘Metanoesis’ care for myself. I’m still on my healing journey and accept that I will be for the rest of my life. I now accept grief as my constant companion and one of my most influential teachers.

This philosophy comes from the word met·a·noi·a. Meta is a Greek prefix and preposition, which means “after” or “beyond.”  No·ia means “thought.” The derivative noēsis means the highest kind of knowledge or knowledge of the eternal forms or ideas. The term “noetic” comes from the Greek word noētikos which means inner wisdom, intuition, or implicit understanding.

William James, a philosopher and the father of American psychology, refers to this phenomenon when he said, “noetic experiences often feel like a state of understanding - intuitively accessed knowledge, known as truth. One arrives at this state without intellectual, left-brain analysis. The experience is also ‘ineffable’ in that the experience is hard to describe in words. These noetic experiences are present in the oldest of humanity’s written records in cultures worldwide.”

Metanoesis means “to have thoughts beyond the (conscious) mind; to have the highest kind of knowledge and implicit understanding; to possess inner wisdom and intuition; to expand the mind in such a way as to have a new perspective on the world or one’s self.” (James, 1985; Hastings, 1991; Klimo,1998).

“It may be that when we no longer know what to do, we have come to our real work, and that when we no longer know which way to go, we have come to our real journey. The mind that is not baffled is not employed. The impeded stream is the one that sings.”

— Wendell Berry

I may not be ‘walking in your shoes’ right now, but believe me, I have walked down some pretty rough roads. I fully believe in the power of these ‘medicines’ to help you begin to emerge from a dark period of time in your life so you can begin to work towards an enduring change during your Integration. Entheogens have helped me on my journey towards healing from my losses. Allow me to help you walk down your road towards what may become a more peaceful, fulfilling and joyful life. 

REFERENCES:

Hastings A: With the tongues of men and angels: A study of channeling. Harcourt School;1991.

James W: The Varieties of Religious Experience. Penguin Classics;1985.

Klimo J: Channeling: Investigations on receiving information from paranormal sources. North Atlantic Books;1998.

Sources of Inspiration on My Journey

“This quote below is attributed to the 13th-century Persian poet, Rumi. It is often interpreted as a metaphor for the spiritual journey, suggesting that our deepest pain and wounds can be the very places where we experience the most profound spiritual growth and enlightenment. Embracing our suffering allows us to access a deeper connection to our true selves.”

“I said: what about my eyes?
He said: Keep them on the road.

I said: What about my passion?
He said: Keep it burning.

I said: What about my heart?
He said: Tell me what you hold inside it?

I said: Pain and sorrow.
He said: Stay with it.

The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”

Rumi also said, “The cure for the pain is the pain.” This is interpreted by some as that “the way to heal from emotional or physical pain is to experience and go through it, rather than trying to avoid or numb it.” When we avoid the emotional pain, it can become a larger and more unmanageable issue in the future. This can lead to anxiety and/or depression. If we decide to try to numb the pain with alcohol or drugs, this can lead to dependence and perhaps addiction…which can also lead to anxiety, depression or at the extreme end to demoralization and suicidal ideation.

“If the cure for pain is in the pain, does that mean I have to just sit around and suffer all the time?” Not at all.

Rumi is not saying that we should just wallow in our pain and do nothing about it. Instead, he’s saying that we should face it head-on and try to deal with it in a way that might be considered ‘healthy’ but also feels right for us. This could mean talking to your friends and family, a therapist or a pastor, journaling about your feelings, reading, meditating or praying, or finding a creative outlet to express your feelings.”

Another option might be psychedelic-assisted therapy.

One thing to keep in mind is that pain doesn’t always have to be a bad thing. Yes, it can be devastating in the beginning, but it can also be seen as a source of growth and learning in the long run. Have you ever gone through a difficult situation and come out on the other side feeling stronger and more resilient? The theory is that this happens because you’ve learned and matured after experiencing the painful experience. Even though the pain was horrendous, the pain could have been the catalyst for a change in your life.

When we’re going through a tough time (physically or emotionally), it can be hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel. But it’s important to remember that while the pain may last a long time, there’s always hope for some more happiness in your life. It’s only through facing and dealing with our pain and sorrow that we can begin to cope, work towards healing and take a step back into our own life.

https://medium.com/@rezaulmurad97/the-cure-for-pain-is-in-the-pain-fbf57f182ff6#:~:text=When%20Rumi%20says%20%E2%80%9CThe%20cure,a%20cut%20or%20a%20bruise.

But, it is hard and it can be a lonely road. Here’s an excerpt from Megan Devine’s book, It’s OK that you’re not OK.

“Time has stopped. Nothing feels real. Your mind cannot stop replaying the events, hoping for a different outcome. The ordinary, everyday world that others still inhabit feels coarse and cruel. Every object in your life becomes an artifact, a symbol of the life that used to be and might have been. There is no place this loss has not touched.”

Her book tries to help in the very early days when many of us don't have the capacity yet to focus on having the most ‘healthy’ outlook on life and recovery. For most people, it takes months or years to even be able or want to do anything other than survive, definitely not try to ‘grow’ or ‘heal.’ It can be validating to be told that this F#CKING SUCKS and there is no need to sugarcoat it to make it more palatable to society. Her message is, ‘Yes, this is awful, and I am here to try to normalize it for you and to encourage you to just keep surviving.

It seems that some degree of grief always occurs after the pain of surviving a trauma, the sorrow after the death of a loved one or when you finally get tired of being depressed for whatver reason. The best solution for me was psychedelic-assisted therapy and the Integration that followed. Many have also found that psychedelic-assisted therapy is illuminating and helps with their anticipatory grief as they face the existential anxiety of a terminal diagnosis.

Some additional influencers during my journey with grief include:

Joseph Campbell

Carl G. Jung

Rosalind Watts

Frances Weller

Martha W. Hickman

Stephen Jenkinson

Arielle Schwartz

Meister Eckhart

Mary-Frances O’Connor

Thomas Merton

Asher Packman

Shannon Duncan

Bessel van der Kolk

Peter Bolland

Norman E. Rosenthal

Father Bill Wigmore*

*I was hesitant to introduce anything religious or even spiritual on my website.

None of my training at CIIS or InnerTrek mentioned religion or spirituality.

However, in the Colorado Rules, as part of the requirements for preparation to administer psilocybin to a client, 4.(j) states:

“There should be a discussion of the concept of trusting inner guidance, which may include discussion of topics such as Inner Healing Intelligence, Inner Genius, The Self, Wise Mind, Soul, or Spirit.”

It seems strange that a state office of government should promote and legislate on what seems to be, at first sight, spiritual concepts. Isn’t this a violation of the separation of church and state in the first amendment of the US Constitution? Alcoholics Anonymous, which certainly uses spiritual concepts at the heart of their 12 steps, does not receive state funding because of this. However, one member of the Colorado Board of Natural Medicine explains that these concepts help to “empower people allowing them to embrace and remember their inherent wholeness and wellbeing.” Adapted from: https://www.ecstaticintegration.org/p/the-inner-healer-and-the-inner-critic

Each of these are deep concepts and could lead you to think that you need to be or need to become religious. Certainly, if you’re a member of a church, you may find solace in the doctrines of your faith and the support of a congregation. But actually, these are more correctly defined as spiritual concepts. Due to the abstract and ethereal quality of ‘the spirit’ or spirituality, the Soul, The Self and inner healing intelligence, there are very few evidence based studies that describe or define any of the concepts.

I don’t claim to have expertise about these topics, but will introduce you to what I’ve learned about them from some of the experts when you decide to become one of my clients. These will be on password protected pages. I’d also be interested in your thoughts about these concepts.